Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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