well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
