Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
