He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
