Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
