If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
