Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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