we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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