I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
