She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
