so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
