3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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