ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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