What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
