Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
