Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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