and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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