OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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