Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
