New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
