Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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