You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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