Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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