I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Cover your peen. We're going out.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
