we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
