As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
