i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
