we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
