i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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