I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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