Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
