Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
