"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Never underestimate the power of titties
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