it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
