Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
