drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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