it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
