Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
