You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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