the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
