there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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