if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
