Me too!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
