I heard we made out
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
two words...techno handjob
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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