your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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