He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
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Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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