just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
