He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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