And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
