I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
