At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
