Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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