OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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