Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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