it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
