Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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