Me too!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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