Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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