You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
