the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
