I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
